Birth is a transformative experience, but it’s also one filled with unpredictability. While many people envision a specific birth experience, the reality is that flexibility and open-mindedness are crucial. By setting realistic expectations and preparing thoughtfully, you can feel empowered, no matter how your birth unfolds.
Here’s how asking the right questions, making informed plans, and fostering collaboration can create a positive and supported experience during childbirth.
Having Informed Discussions with Your Provider
Prenatal appointments with your provider are more than just routine checkups—they’re opportunities to have meaningful discussions with your care provider. Use this time to:
Share Preferences
Discuss your hopes and preferences for labor, delivery, and immediate postpartum care, including comfort measures, positions, and newborn procedures. Communicating these preferences positively can foster mutual respect. For example:
- Instead of saying, "I don’t want interventions," try, "I’d like to minimize interventions unless medically necessary."
- Instead of saying, "I don’t want to be rushed," try, "I’d like to labor at my own pace as long as it’s safe for me and my baby."
ASK QUESTIONS!
No question is too small! Whether it’s about hospital protocols, pain management options, or your provider’s approach to interventions, gaining clarity can build confidence. For instance:
- What are my options for pain management besides an epidural?
- I’d like continuous monitoring but want to move around. What are my options?
- Can you explain why you’re recommending an induction? What would it look like to wait another week?
Understand Common Procedures + Interventions
Understanding the "why" behind common interventions (like inductions or cesareans) helps you feel informed if they’re recommended. Ask your provider under what circumstances they might suggest specific interventions and whether those practices are evidence-based or routine.
Using Prenatal Discussions to Build a Plan
A birth plan isn’t just a list of preferences—it’s a conversation starter and a dynamic tool that reflects your wishes while remaining adaptable.
Make It Personal
Your birth plan should be tailored to your needs, not a generic template. Collaborate with your provider to ensure your plan aligns with your preferences and realistic possibilities.
Stay Flexible
Pregnancy complications, hospital policies, or unexpected scenarios may impact your options. Be prepared to adapt while advocating for your preferences. Meeting with all the providers in your practice (if applicable) ensures your plan is understood, even in a laborist model where the on-call provider delivers your baby.
Plan Early
Starting these conversations early gives you time to switch providers if their philosophy doesn’t align with yours or to seek a second opinion.
During my childbirth classes, I often use the Birth Plan Card Sort Game to guide clients through potential scenarios, helping them balance preferences and practice evidence-based decision-making
When Plans Change: Staying Flexible
Birth rarely goes exactly as planned. Unexpected situations may require you to adapt, but that doesn’t mean you lose control:
- You can navigate changes in your plan by revisiting discussions and reflecting on what you learned during your prenatal visits or childbirth classes to make informed decisions in the moment.
- You can naviagte changes by leaning on your partner, doula, or support team to help you process new information and advocate for your needs.
- You can naviagte changes by staying open minded. Staying flexible allows you to focus on what matters most—a healthy birthing person, a healthy baby and a positive experience.
Many clients find that having a doula during unexpected shifts in their birth plan provides emotional support, clarity, and a sense of calm. A doula holds space for you, helping you process information and advocate for your needs.
Final Thoughts
Setting realistic expectations for birth doesn’t mean lowering your standards—it means preparing for the unpredictable nature of childbirth with confidence and flexibility.
By asking questions, fostering open communication, and using prenatal visits to make informed decisions, you’re building a foundation of empowerment. Birth plans aren’t rigid scripts—they’re tools for collaboration and advocacy that adapt as needed.
Remember, your preferences matter, and so does your ability to navigate changes with grace. With the right preparation, support, and mindset, you can create a positive and meaningful birth experience.
Ready to explore more ways to feel more informed and empowered during birth? Let’s connect.
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